FUNNY HUMOROUS JOKE 06 jokes on very very funny jokes text sms in hindi amazing it stupid nasty the funniest joke in the world dirty one liners in spanish pepito new year hindi sexy jamaican church and fat people jokes

Have A Nice Day

Fat People Jokes

Jokes on very very funny jokes text sms in hindi amazing it stupid nasty the funniest joke in the world dirty one liners in spanish pepito new year hindi sexy jamaican church and fat people jokes.

Bob Hope get on my feet Jokes

"Golf is my profession. show biz is simply to pay the inexperienced fees"

"I taken off to play golf with the intention of shooting my age, however I shot my weight instead!"

"I asked my sensible friend, Arnold Daniel Palmer however I might improve my game, he suggested Maine to Cheat!"

"I've compete some strange rounds of golf in my travels. One course in Last Frontier was hacked out of the geographical area. My caddy was a elk. whenever I reached for a club he thought i used to be attempting to steal his antlers."

"The Scottish caddies square measure nice. One previous fellow at St. Andrews told Maine, "I had a golf player WHO was thus lousy he threw his clubs into the water. Then he dived in himself. i assumed he was progressing to drown, however I remembered he could not keep his head down long enough."

"I have performed for twelve presidents and amused six."

"I do not feel previous - i do not feel something till time of day. Then it is time for my nap."

"I have a beautiful make-up crew. they are a similar those that remodeled the sculpture of Liberty."

"One sailor told Maine the gorgeous nurse on his ward extremely is aware of her job. She takes our force per unit area then deducts twenty points for "white dress" syndrome.

"I've been with NBC goodbye. i used to be here once the peacock was simply AN egg"

"Out here within the Pacific, they need typhoons ANd hurricanes that go by two hundred miles an hour. we've got tornadoes and hurricanes back home, however i do not worry regarding them. The mortgage on my home is thus serious that nothing might budge it."

"The Democrats have a solution to the state drawback. they are all running for the presidency." -On the numerous Democrats running for president in 1988

"I do not know if the presidential candidates square measure running for the White House or Animal House." -On Gary's Hart's campaign for president

"It's thus cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets."

"I left England once I was four as a result of I identified I might ne'er be King."

"Television. that is wherever movies go after they die."

"Ronald Ronald Reagan isn't a typical politician as a result of he does not acumen to lie, cheat, and steal. he is continuously had AN agent try this."

"When they asked comedian to try to to one thing for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot each his folks and rapt in. "

"If you have no charity in your heart, you have got the worst reasonably heart bother."

"I grew up with six brothers. that is however I learned to bounce..... awaiting the toilet."

"A Jimmy Cagney love scene is one wherever he lets the opposite guy live. "

"You recognize you're obtaining previous once the candles value quite the cake. "

"Bigamy is that the solely crime wherever 2 rites create a wrong."

"Everything Ronald Reagan will, Mikhail Gorbachev will him one higher. Ronald Reagan wears the flag of his country on his overlap. Gorby wears the map of his country on his forehead."

"Now that the war is winding down, i would like {to say|to Mainention} I do appreciate you fellows hanging around here - only for me." -On a visit to Vietnam in 1972

Bob Monkhouse get on my feet Jokes

"They laughed once I same i used to be progressing to be a comedian ... they are not happy currently."

"Growing previous is obligatory - growing up is nonmandatory."

"The last time i used to be in Kingdom of Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. i need to keep in mind to require enough toilet tissue next time."

"Personally, i do not assume there is intelligent life on different planets. Why ought to different planets be any completely different from this one?"

"I will still fancy sex at seventy four - I live at seventy five, thus it's no distance."

"People continuously say: 'You're a comedian, tell United States a joke.' they do not say: 'You're AN MP, tell United States a lie.'

"What's a geriatric? A German football player grading 3 goals."

"What do gardeners do after they retire?"

"When the artificer of the starting stage messed things up, what did he return to?"

They laughed once I same i used to be progressing to be a comedian. Well, they are not happy currently.

I got my begin in silent radio.

My audience continuously leave the theatre happy...we offer them their a reimbursement.

I believe exertions can ne'er hurt you....provided you watch it from a secure distance.

I saw a specialist WHO asked me: 'Are you acquainted with the phrase dirty impaction?' I said: 'I assume I saw that one with John Herschel Glenn Jr. shut and Michael Douglas'.

I'd ne'er be unfaithful to my better half for the explanation that i like my house greatly.

I same to my better half "What's wrong with our kids? they are nothing like me!" She same "No, they take once their father."

Yesterday they control the foremost Honest Politican Of The Year contest...and nobody won.

I tend to sleep within the nude. that is not a foul issue, aside from perhaps on those long flights.

What does one provides a florist WHO is sick?

I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and panicky, like his passengers.

My better half said: 'Can my mother come back down for the weekend?' thus I said: 'Why?' and he or she said: 'Well, she's been abreast of the roof period already'.

The Royal Shakespeare Company once did 'Julius Caesar' in big apple. once Caesar was injured onstage, 0.5 the audience left as a result of they did not wish to induce concerned.

When the artificer of the starting stage messed things up, what did he return to?

My folks rapt to geographic area once I was six. I rapt once I was 10. It took Maine that long to trace them down.

Cold? I turned on the shower this morning and nearly got inebriated to death.

I'm a loyal Tory. I support Mrs Thatcher once she's right...and simply keep one's mouth shut the opposite ninety five % of the time.

On writing jokes for Bob Hope: "Once i used to be within the rest room of his edifice suite, aiming to nature's decision and he knocked loudly and referred to as out: 'There's paper in there, keep writing'."

Bob Saget get on my feet Jokes

I have the brain of a German Shepard and therefore the body of 16-year-old boy. they are each in my automotive and that i wish you to check them.

My better half may be a saint. She's Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and will not eat.

Dave wedge from poker hand shaves his balls, tell your friends, tell everyone, tell the world!

Stop It, Stop lighting your butthol aflame, and everyone hear Maine. If you light-weight your ass aflame, I hope you have got boxers or a filter of somekind, as a result of if your a bareass person. Not lots of individuals have done this. Stop It. this can be why. you'll cauterize your asshole shut, thus after you fart it's obscurity to travel and you'll have a fart attack.

I don't just like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no sensible, thus you have got to go away, i select you, however i assumed you actually blue-eyed Maine.' It's all regarding however unhealthy individuals square measure and that i simply hate that. i prefer Pimp my Ride wherever somebody helps someone

I don't roll like that however I've ne'er been with a hooker either. Yeah, that is sensible {to say|to Mainention} in AN interview cause I feel unhealthy slightly as a result of individuals grew up look me and that is slightly worrisome.

When you are known, you are continuously known. It does not depart.

I think after you dissect a joke an excessive amount of, you have got ruined no matter there's in comedy.

Soon, i am progressing to meet someone around my very own age, and she's progressing to be good and delightful, and i am progressing to date her girl.

Central Comedy Roast Of Bob Saget

Bob Saget: Norm is such a frightful gambler, he bet Jon Lovitz would be funny tonight.

Bob Saget: Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you are the just one WHO enjoys it, and you must be in remission for doing it publicly.

Bob Saget: Norm MacDonald. Norm, you are the funniest man i do know. as a result of these square measure the opposite those that i do know.

Bob Saget: Even John's dick contains a nice hairline.

[laughter]

Bob Saget: On "Full House," John's dick had a mullet.

[laughter]

Bob Saget moving-picture show Quotes

Half Baked

Cocaine Addict (Bob Saget): Marijuana isn't a drug. I accustomed suck dick for coke. currently that is AN addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?